The Dunbar Number is the key to your…

…list of disciples.

The Dunbar Number, which I’ve discussed here and here, says that basically at most you can have about 15 close face-to-face friends. Some have a few more, some have a few less, but no one has “a few thousand close friends” because you can’t spend face-to-face time with all of them. Body language (facial expression, etc) is about three quarters of conversation. Your close friends are the ones who you have this “whole conversation” with: who you sit down with over coffee (or tea, or whatever) and have a real heart-to-heart conversation.

In terms of a church planting movement, I suggest these are the people you should be discipling. These are the folks you have the deepest and most open relationship with. They generally include your immediately present family (e.g. spouse and children or perhaps other extended family members) as well as friends, business partners, etc.

In this model, discipleship and evangelism both flow out of natural day-to-day interactions. I’ve noted Rodney Stark’s discussion of conversion before: it comes in the context of relationships. People become part of relationships with Christians and begin acting as Christians before they ever take the step of conversion and baptism. Without the relationships, the conversion mostly doesn’t happen (except for a few outlier events).

Evangelism then becomes simple. It is the words and deeds of a deeply committed, highly spiritual life following Christ–radical, obedience-based discipleship lived out before your closest friends. No forced conversations required. “Abundant sowing” is possible day in and day out.