Seth Godin writes Dunbar’s Number isn’t just a number, it’s the law. I generally agree with him, and this is something that impacts swarms, micro-missions, churches, and all organizations.
I have several hundred “friends” on Facebook. But in fact, as we all know, there are different levels of friendship, represented largely by different amounts of time spent with them.
Some of my Facebook Friends are people who I barely know, but share my interests. Some are people who were once close friends and are now distant, and who I only see on Facebook. Some are people who are still close friends but are geographically distant, so I can only see them on Facebook no matter how much I’d like to see them in person. Some are people I’ve never met, but whom I’ve built up a relationship with online, and with whom I do projects.
But regardless, Facebook Friends (or MySpace Friends, or Twitter Followers–a term I like better, actually) are just not the same as Dunbar’s Friends. The reason is that Dunbar is talking about people with whom you have a regular level of contact, whom you know well, whom you are interested in, whom you will get in touch with if you haven’t heard from them in a long time.
This is one reason why I suggest that you pick your friends carefully, as carefully as you choose what you will devote your time to. No matter how much money you earn, no matter how many “followers” you have, you will only have so much time and so many friends. These are limitations of who we are – limitations God built into us. Time constraints dictate that you can’t go deep with everybody because you don’t have enough time.
Time and friends, therefore, are treasures to be chosen well. A man (and women, too!) is known in part by the company he keeps. Use wisdom!
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